10 things that all beginner travellers should know.... before they go

1. Rucksacks are heavier than they look.
2. Do not leave dentist appointment to the last minute. If you need any work done (and if you love chocolate praline as much as I do, you WILL) your teeth will need time to adjust. Oh, and your wallet will, too.
3. Do not expect genuine joy from all of your friends. Some of them will hate the fact that whilst you're sunbathing on a warm beach, they'll be sitting in front of a computer from 9 til 5. "I'm so happy for you" sometimes translate into a "I hate you, you lucky bastard".
4. No matter how old you are, do not tell your parents that you have just booked a jungle tour and you will be spending 4 days  looking for alligators and 4 nights sleeping in the bushes, without even having  a sleeping bag. Yes, you're an adult. Yes, it's your life. Yes, you're a tough cookie. But why make them worried?
5. Eat your most favourite food any time you can. God knows when you'll eat a decent pepperoni pizza next!
6. Meditate. No, fuck that, just get drunk.
7. If you buy shoes for your travels, make sure you don't just walk in them beforehand. Jump, run, climb, dance and even sleep wearing them. Blisters? No, thank you.
8. Buy yourself a guide then do the opposite of what's recommended. What the Hell, you only live once.
9. Do not spend a fortune in Outdoor Shops, buying the coolest travel clothes. Instead, buy everything super cheap and leave everything behind.
10. Have I mentioned that rucksacks are heavier than they look?